When the word divorce comes to mind, usually, the first thing many people think of is arguing, battling for custody, and fighting over assets. It doesn’t have to be that way, however. While these stereotypes may be true for many, it’s not always the case if you know the right things to do, or even better- what not to do. A divorce can be a simple and straightforward process absent of ruthless fighting.
Regardless of how self-righteous you feel, or how angry you may be, it’s in everyone’s best interest to get your divorce over with as peacefully as possible. Here are some of the best things to avoid when going through a divorce.
Don’t Hire The First Lawyer You Find On Google
Not all lawyers are created equal. Some specialize in real estate, while others specialize in medical malpractice. Don’t assume that just anyone can handle your divorce for you. It’s important that you find a lawyer who specializes in your particular needs.
If your primary concern is having custody of your children, then make sure that you hire someone who is known for those types of cases. If you’re concerned about hanging onto your assets, then you want someone who has a reputation for fighting for their clients’ assets.
Even though family members may “highly recommend” the lawyer they used a few years ago, don’t assume that just because they were right for them, they will be right for you.
Don’t Be Overly Aggressive
Even though you may be seething with contempt for your ex, angry comments aren’t going to get anyone anywhere. Try to keep your cool anytime you’re dealing with your ex. Do whatever it takes to be as neutral as possible. Leave the dirty work to your lawyers and stay polite.
This is especially important if you have children together. Showing hostility in front of your kids will damage them. Swallow your pride and be polite even if you feel like tearing your (or their) hair out.
Don’t Rush Into a New Relationship
It’s great to be excited about finding love again one day. It’s also considered healthy to get out and flirt a little after a divorce. But don’t let yourself dive into a relationship based on flirtation and attraction.
This is an important time for you to take time for yourself to rediscover who you are and become who you want to be. You have all the time in the world for another relationship. There’s no need to be in a hurry to fall in love prematurely.
It’s also difficult for your children when you dive into a relationship that may not last. Take it slowly and rebuild your life little by little rather than throwing it together haphazardly.